Ashley’s Weblog











{September 30, 2008}   Exposed

So last night the crap hit the fan and now I praise God that it did. Getting less than 4 hours of sleep every night since Wednesday, hell week (a week or two or three where you have all your tests and things), and work getting more and more stressful I finally broke last night.  I have a problem of holding up all my hurts, failures, and anger up and then breaking down and crying. (something I’m working on) Thankfully one of my friends was there for me, but after he left the tears continued to flow. And not because of why I thought they had started, but because of why they really started. I’m a big screw up, yet God loves me. And just like a parent spanks you because they love you, God was giving me a spanking. He was EXPOSING my sin to me. But, because I’m so hardheaded he had to break me down to get me to realize what I was doing. As much as the pain sucks, God brings me back to him. Through the tears, I run to him and he gets me alone and tells me what he wants. It’s times like these that I’m thankful that God loves me and my hard head because he could easily let me keep going on my own path. So, just remember that in those times of weakness when all you can do is pour tears and beg God for answers is when you get closer than ever to him and learn from him. Praying that I can overcome these sins that God exposed to me and knowing that I can do it through Him!

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